


Another Way that Doesn't Work

by Vera (Vera_DragonMuse)



Category: Firefly
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-05
Updated: 2010-11-05
Packaged: 2017-10-21 02:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vera_DragonMuse/pseuds/Vera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mal asks a question that worries his crew. Written for Round One, Challenge Four of Last Author Standing: Jossverse</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Way that Doesn't Work

Mal’s room partially tucked under Serenity’s cockpit. Even in his sleep, the hum of her navigation filled his senses, cradling him in familiarity.

“Boy, what are you doing?” Shepard Book leaned over him. The sky above them was blood red.

“Digging.” Mal explained patiently. “Getting on harvest time.”

“You ever think that maybe nothing grows because you’re planting in the wrong place?”

The earth was crumbled clay under his fingers.

“No.” Mal dug in harder, wishing for a spade.

‘“There’s fertile earth not far from here. Why do you insist on tilling where nothing can grow?”

“Because this is where it matters.” Mal’s fingernails broke as he pushed through the soil. Book laid a hand on his shoulder. The dirt was full of bones.

The hum of Serenity wound around them until the dream shattered. Mal stared at the wall.

At breakfast, he stared blearily into a bowl of protein.

“You all right, Captain?” Kaylee leaned in, pouring him a strong cup of something that resembled coffee.

“That depends. Is the engine turning proper?”

“Right as rain.” She plonked down next to him on the bench. “Got it patched to last us a few more months. Gonna need a replacement before long.”

He dredged his spoon through the protein, thinking about bones in the earth.

“You ever think about moving on?” He asked, before he could really think it through.

“Moving on?” Her eyes widened. “Is there something wrong? Should I-”

“Nothing wrong.” He cut her off. “Just a sort of wondering question.”

“Never.” She took a firm bite of her food. “I love Serenity.”

“Even though she gets into every kind of trouble and you’re holding her together with the strength of will alone?”

“You asking me or yourself now?” She asked, suddenly shrewd as she could be sometimes.

“Me, maybe.”

“This ship flying itself?” Zoe ducked into the kitchen. “Cause River ain’t at the wheel.”

“Auto-pilot. Alarm will go off if it needs attention.” Mal frowned at her. “Girl’s probably sleeping under the chair.”

River had taken to tucking herself up under Wash’s old seat with a blanket, catching cat naps. Food still unappetizing, he figured it’d be best to check on her. Zoe slid into his abandoned seat, taking up the spoon to resume his idle stirring .

“Captain was asking me if I ever thought of moving on.” Kaylee said softly. She always spoke softly around Zoe now like loud noises might awaken her silent grief. “I said I ain’t, but I guess that’s a lie. Used to think about it all the time. Missed my home, scared of what would happen next. You ever thought of it?”

“Of leaving Serenity?” Zoe shook her head, curls falling loose. “Only place I got good memories of now. Only place I can come back to anyway.”

“Oh.” Kaylee hunched her shoulders. “Didn’t think of it that way.”

“Good morning.” Simon straddled the bench next to Kaylee, kissing her cheek.

“Morning.” She brightened at the attention. “Captain was acting weird.”

“Thanks for the warning, I’ll hide in the infirmary for the morning.”

“Not that kind of weird. He was asking me if I ever thought about leaving Serenity.”

“Oh, is it Question Everyone’s Loyalty Day again?” Simon laughed.

“No, I don’t think so.” Zoe wrinkled her nose. “Seemed to melancholy for that.”

“Someone’s a melon?” Jayne asked through a jaw cracking yawn. “I’d kill for a melon.”

“Captain was sad.” Kaylee translated for him. “Asking about if I ever thought about leaving.”

“Who doesn’t?” Jayne poured a cup of the not-coffee. “Get shot at, yelled at and spend half my days cleaning up someone else's mess.”

“Why do you stay then?” Zoe snapped.

“Pays pretty good.” Jayne poured half the cup down his throat. “ ‘sides, you can get used to just about anything if you live with it long enough. Adoption or something.”

“Adaptation.” Simon corrected idly.

“Yeah, that. Plenty of storage space for explosives too.”

“Sometimes, I think he expects too much.” Kaylee said after everyone had absorbed this piece of Jayne flavored wisdom. “Like he wanted Serenity to just fix everything that went wrong in the war.”

“And what? Make the same mistakes?” Jayne snorted.

“No.” Zoe glared danger at all of them. “Making a whole new set. Ones that have saved all of y’all more than one time. So shut it and eat your breakfasts.”

They shut it. But no one ate the rest of breakfast.

In the cockpit, the man in question was staring out into the black. River stirred from her resting place, unfurling like butterfly. She blinked sleepily up at him.

“Morning albatross.”

“Morning Captain.” She twined around him, demanding a hug which he reluctantly gave. “Dreams don’t always mean what you think.”

“Told you to quit that.” He said, but his heart wasn’t in it. She couldn’t help herself, really.

“The Shepard can’t lead us anymore.” She worried at her lip, tearing at the dry flaking parts. “But we can find our own way.”

“We haven’t done so well so far.”

“We’re alive.” Blood trickled from a torn bit of her lip. “Be glad we get to make mistakes. Perfection is for the dead.”

They watched the stars rush past them and Serenity’s hum went on.


End file.
